Thursday, September 15th
A sick hazing ritual
So this morning, I get up with the chickens, lol, and do my hair up. I did it big. Lots of big spiral curls, lots of hairspray and fullness. Then I did my makeup just a bit bolder today, still soft and natural, but I added some highlighter to my cheek bones and nose, a little deeper blush at the hollow of my cheeks to add more definition. My eyes I did in a rich dark purple with a simple black swoop of eyeliner. This purple color makes my eyes look purple instead of blue. The look for today is a red tank top under a white blouse with red western detailing. A little embroidery across the cuffs of my sleeves which stick out just under my navy blazer, the plaid pleated skort and the cowboy boots. Some bold slightly Mexican looking silver medallion earrings and matching silver bangles, and I’m feeling ready to give my speech.
But first things first. Gotta call Grandpa.
I thank him. Tell him about my speech today. He wishes me luck and fills me in on whats been going on at the ranch. About the horses, the gossip about Jose, the ranch hand’s love life, Grandma’s new apple pie recipe, and his new lemonade drink using pink lemonade rather than the normal yellow kind. I hang up feeling happy and confident.
Even made it to breakfast this morning and got lots of compliments on my boots. Dawson kisses me and tells me, “You got my vote, Keatie, just look at you.”
And although this was nice, and I want to look nice, cute and likable, I also kind of decided this morning after talking to Grandpa that it should be about more than being popular or pretty. So I redid my speech. Completely. (This is a big point, actually. That she isn’t making it about being pretty or popular. That she actually gets it!)
All school convocation. Yeah, that’s right. Even though I’m only being voted on by freshman, I still have to do my speech in front of everyone. Well, we all do. Supposed to give us experience or something. All the upperclassmen voted on student council representatives last spring, and this making us speak in front of everyone is apparently a sick hazing ritual. (LOL)
I’m just saying.
I’m standing in the hallway with the seven other freshman running for the three officer spots. Aiden walks up to me, kinda shyly, nods me over toward him, has something in his hand, wants to sneakily put it into mine.
How I know what his little glances and gestures mean are a bit astonishing to me, but then, I’m pretty sure some sort of mind control is part of his god power package. (Mind control is part of his godly power package. Like he’s a sports car that was designed by the gods.)
He slides something hard and cold into my hand. Then he puts a finger up to the side of his mouth and makes the universal sign for shhh.
I don’t open my hand.
I’m afraid to.
Plus I want to savor it, I think.
It’s my turn to go up.
I get up to the podium, lay down my note cards, turn my hand over and open my hand. There nestled in my palm is a green glass four leaf clover. And I feel……..I don’t even know. (Also, swoon! Is this not so sweet? Oh, I love Aiden. Love how clovers and luck and fate are so woven in throughout their story.)
I feel like Harry Potter just put liquid luck in my butter beer before quidditch practice.
I feel unstoppable.
I don’t use my note cards, I memorized it this morning. I speak eloquently and from the heart. I talk about what student council is, what it should be able to do, how it should not just be about social agendas or a popularity contest. That it should focus on the students and their rights. Their right to change the dress code, their right not to get their phones put into jail, their right to be served something besides empty calories and fried foods at lunch, their right to stay out later, to have more all school activities. And ended it with a loud, cheerleader style, Vote for Keatyn Mon-ROARRRRRR, and luckily, lots of people roared with me.
I don’t know if I will win or not. But I did good, and I’m proud of myself. And I think my lucky charm will be proud of me too.
Did you see those boots of hers?
Aiden somehow ended up walking me from lunch to French class.
“So, you did really great today. You deserve to win.”
“I didn’t look at what was in my hand until I got up there and was ready to start speaking.”
“You like it?”
“I did. It was really sweet, Aiden. And it gave me an extra boost of confidence. I felt lucky.”
“Yeah, well, just trying to help you not make a fool out of yourself, otherwise I’d have to hear all about it. You complaining to Annie, and me not being able to learn french.”
“That’s really why you gave it to me?”
“Well, that and I might have a little crush on my tutor, but don’t tell her that. It will go to her head. And she already thinks she’s the shit. Did you see those boots of hers?” (He’s so cute here!)
I laugh. “Very funny. You like my boots?”
“I love you in boots. You in boots is my very favorite. Reminds me of the first day we met.” (And here.)
“My grandpa had them made for me to match my uniform. Told me they are to remind me to raise some hell and kick some ass.” I laugh at that.
“I’d like to meet him someday. He sounds like a good man,” he says very sincerely.
And as I’m sitting in french class, I’m thinking that Grandpa would probably think Aiden is a good man too.
We take a break at the end of class to talk in french. Annie isn’t speaking in French, but is excitedly talking about the speeches, who she thinks did good, how I rocked, and “Where did you ever find those boots?”
Aiden answers her, “Her grandpa had them made for her.”
And Annie gives me a look. A look that says, uh, what’s going on here? Why is he answering for you and more importantly why does he know this and ME your best friend does not?
She doesn’t say any of that until we’re in my room, a bunch of us girls, getting ready to go to the JV game. We’re all giggling and laughing. I’m ready. I left my boots, tank, and shirt on, but changed into little jean shorts. And I will admit, I’m sorta sitting here thinking about Aiden. He’s been really nice to me, and he mentioned in class that the team they are playing tonight is like the best in our conference, and how he hopes he does really well.
So I dig down to the bottom of my desk drawer. Mom forced me to bring high quality writing paper, so I could write a decent thank you if needed.
I grab a piece of the thick creamy paper and a green marker. I fold the paper. Inside write, Points for Dances, round 3?
And then I drew a big green four leafed clover and outlined it in black marker. (Yay, Keatyn!!)
I tell the girls, “Hey, I gotta run to the dance room and grab my, uh, socks, I’ll be right back.”
Then I run out of the door and text Aiden.
Me: Where are you?
Hottie God: Locker room. Where do you want me to be?
Me: Somewhere where I can find you, give you something.
Hottie God: Walking out of the field house now. Meet me.
Me: KK 🙂
I sprint, well jog, as fast as I can in my boots and see him standing there. He’s got on his football pads and jersey, but is still wearing his athletic shorts.
God, he is just beautiful.
“Boots are pretty sexy with shorts too,” he grins, looking at my shorts.
“Thanks, uh, well, I know you seemed a little nervous about the game tonight and um, I just…..”
When did I get so tongue tied all of a sudden? (Godly powers will do that to you. Plus, you have a boyfriend?)
“Well, here.” I hold the little note out in front of me.
“I don’t know. It’s a little note. Some luck maybe. Just look at it, I don’t know, sometime before the game maybe.”
“Um, up you.”
“You know, Boots, you’re acting very weird.”
“I am very weird.”
He laughs, “True. Okay, so I have to get back in there.” He holds up the note. “Thanks, uh, I think.”
I walk back to my dorm, wondering what the hell I just did.
Then I tell myself I don’t really want to dance with him.
I’m a dancer.
I’m one of the people chosen to help spread school spirit and to support our athletes.
I just was wishing him luck, motivating him, so that our school team could win, be proud.
Rah, rah, sis, boom, bah, and all that.
That’s just the kind of selfless girl I am. (Sure you are.)
What the heck is on the football?
Sitting in the stands with a big group of friends. My glass four leafed clover in the pocket of my shorts.
Dawson is being his sweet, snuggly self and teasing me about my boots in front of everyone, but then whispering in my ear about how he would like to see me in just my boots later on tonight.
I’m not sure if I could do that. Two reasons why I would not float through my head simultaneously. One is that Grandpa would roll over in his grave, if he had one, if he saw me doing those things in the boots he had made for me. The second thing is that boots are kinda me and Aiden’s thing. Like not that we have a thing at ALL. But the way he calls me Boots and said he wanted to meet my grandpa, I just don’t think I could allow my boots to be a part of what Dawson has in mind. I may have to put a blindfold on them or put them in the closet or something. (This so makes me laugh. And I love how serious she is (and the excuses she makes) about boots being her and Aiden’s thing.)
Jake and Peyton are sitting a couple rows below us, and I notice Dawson doesn’t seem to be affected by this at all. Which makes me very thankful. Bryce says hey to them, then walks up and sits down behind me and Dawson.
“So, did you take any of our advice?”
“About my speech?”
“Uh, no, about making Dawson worship you.”
This gets Dawson’s attention.
He says teasingly, “What have you, Bryce and Jake been up to in ceramics?”
Bryce laughs, “Well so far I’ve made a lopsided cup and an animal that resembles a pig, but was supposed to be a pony.”
“They may have suggested the library,” I tell Dawes.
His eyes get big, he gets a big old grin on his face, looks at Bryce and puts his hand into a first in front of him. They do a fist bump and he says, “You can make suggestions like that ANY time, man. Any time.”
Now Bryce’s eyes get big, “You mean, you like took our advice! Like the library idea?”
I roll my eyes, “Maybe.”
“Ohmigawd, can I get a clone of you. Seriously?”
“Do you know Mallory? She’s a sophomore, on varsity soccer with me.” (Mallory played soccer with Keatyn, but I’m not sure she made the final cut into the book, other than being mentioned possibly once in passing.)
“I know who she is, she’s cute. Why did she say something about me?”
“No, but she was telling me about some stuff she did with her boyfriend this summer, and she might be a little naughty herself. They’re broke up now, and she’s pretty, don’t you think?”
“Not much for boobs, but she’s got that skinny, sexy thing going on, and she has nice hair.”
“I’ll text her, see if she’s coming up here to the…..”
Bryce interrupts me and says, “What the heck is on the football?”
In front of him, Annie says, “Looks like a four leaf clover to me.”
Dawson says, “That’s like for Notre Dame, like the fighting Irish, right? Why would they put that on our footballs? Shouldn’t they have put like a Cougar paw?”
I look out and see that Riley is getting ready to toss a pass to Aiden. And on the football is a marker drawn green four leaf clover, outlined in black.
And I think I just passed out. (Omg. LOL)
Toying with my forcefield
Dawson has a paper due, so I’m walking out of his room after giving him a few kisses. Well okay, we were making out a bit, and his hands were everywhere under my shirt. But I drew the line when he was trying to undo my shorts.
“We both have homework. You told me to promise to make you do it.”
“Oh, I wanna do it, alright.”
“Sorry, okay. Love you, Keatie. I’ll text you before I go to sleep.”
And then I walked out his door.
Who is stalking me, apparently?
Looking more god like than ever, in a plain white T-shirt that shows off his golden tan skin and a pair of white basketball shorts, with little red stripes down the side.
He grabs my hand, says, “Come here.” And I follow him up to his room.
He shuts his door, locks it, dazzles me with a smile and says, “So, only had twelve tonight. But we won!”
“Yeah, you all played great. Really. Riley’s really stepping up.”
“He is. That and we had a secret weapon.”
“I saw the clovers on the footballs. That your doing?”
“Yeah. This really cool girl wished me luck and offered me dances. So I gave a little motivational speech before the game. Showed everyone that I drew them on the game balls, prayed Coach wouldn’t kill me, and it was a big hit. We went out there pretty pumped up.”
“It was awesome, really.”
“So I didn’t have a chance to pick twelve new songs, okay if we do some of the old ones?”
“Are we dancing tonight?”
He hits his ipod to play and pulls me in close. We sway to the music, grind a little, I look into eyes. He gets so close to me. Like before. It’s like our faces have a forcefield just around them.
He is toying with my forcefield.
Firing shots, trying to find its weakness.
And what’s up with that?
Because I clearly told Kirk, or Scotty, whoever is in charge of that stuff on the starship, shields DOWN! (So many of these scenes with Aiden and Keatyn were not changed, because, well, he is amazing!)
But he WILL NOT kiss me. He is totally teasing me, totally playing with me, and it pisses me off, and makes me weak at the knees at the same time.
Remember how I said it feels like time stood still when I kissed him. It feels that way when I dance with him. Like we are the only two people on this green earth, and we’re okay with that. And before I realize it, we’ve gone through not just twelve songs, but all twenty nine on his original playlist. Rap music blares on, and I look at the clock.
“Aiden!! I’m thirty six minutes late!!!”
I go tearing out of there.
Check in and receive a very stern warning and over one hundred minutes of detention.
Worth every second.
I mean, our team won, right?
I’m in the dorm, downstairs, dealing with being late.
And maybe slightly traumatized.
I have texts, lots of texts:
Dawson: Almost done 🙂
Katelyn: You are 12 minutes late for curfew. Where are you?
Katelyn: Texted Dawson, to tell you you were late, you are not with him???? Where are you??? And now you are 15 minutes late.
Dawson: Where are you? I thought you were going back to your dorm?
Katelyn: I’m freaking out, 18 minutes late.
Katelyn: Text me for god’s sake.
Maggie: Katelyn is trying to find you.Where are you?
Annie: Why aren’t you in your dorm? Why aren’t you answering? She says Dawson doesn’t know where you are.
Riley: Katelyn has texted everyone wanting to know where you are. Where are you?
Dawson: Text me when you get in. I’m getting worried, Keatie 🙁
Katelyn: You ARE 27 MINUTES LATE!!!! (First of all, Katie, you need to chill out!)
Dallas: Heard you are MIA, have a sneaking suspicion you are uh, tutoring. If so, use Dallas as your excuse. I will always have your back. But you better text me back and tell me. (Secondly, Dallas is wise beyond his years. And a really good friend.)
Katelyn: 32 MINUTES!!
Me to Katelyn: I’m in the dorm. Will be up in a few. Getting my ass chewed first. Tell everyone you were texting I’m fine. K?
Katelyn: THANK GOD! And K 🙂
Me to Dallas: I love you, seriously. And you are correct. I told you he is a powerful one. I got lost in his eyes and lost all track of time.
Dallas: Why do I have a feeling you have something to do with the four leafed clover. He gave you one before dance tryouts, right? (And observant, too!)
Me: Right. And again before my speech. I just decided to like pay it forward. He wished me luck, I knew it was a rough game, I have school spirit, wanted you to win, offered up some more dances, that’s where I was.
Dallas: Was it just dancing?
Me: Yes. I have a bf.
Dallas: If you were my gf, I wouldn’t want you dancing with Aiden, I wouldn’t give a shit about school spirit. (Exactly. Love how he calls her out on this.)
Me: I’m a freshman, I’m into school spirit.
Dallas: Then next time, you motivate me:) (But then. LOL. Let’s get high and kiss.)
Me: So what were we doing, why was I late?
Dallas: You were helping me study for our English test tomorrow and we were both so tired, we fell asleep.
Me: We have a English test tomorrow??!!
Dallas: Yes…go study. love you 🙂 you seriously need to talk me up to Katie, she’s cute too. I deserve it.
me: Done 🙂
me to Dawson: Hey, sorry. I’m fine. Was studying with Dallas, fell asleep in his room. Will be in detention for the rest of my life 🙁
Dawson: Aw, it’s okay. I was just worried about you. Love you. Night <3
I walk in my room, and if I didn’t get my ass chewed enough, Katie starts in on me. And really, I’m not in the mood. I tell her about Dallas, tell her I’m tired, tell her goodnight.
Lay in my bed and dream about greek gods in white T-shirts. Then when I hear her sleeping, I get back up and study for the stupid test.
Friday, September 16th
I’ve got to get more sleep.
Social committee meeting. Got to sleep at 3am. Woke up at 6. Put on our slinky away game outfits for dance, and marched my half naked ass down to the meeting room.
And maybe I was a couple minutes late, and Peyton gave me an evil glance.
So bite me, Barbie.
Aiden, however, flashed me that blazing smile and just his teeth are worth getting up for. I sit down next to Brad. He looks at me, whispers, “Rough night?” (Didn’t you have that guy in high school? The one worth getting up for? Although, sometimes he didn’t know you actually existed, but whatever.)
I nod yes. He leans down and reaches in his backpack, pulls out a red bull, and I nearly kiss him.
“Ohmigawd, thank you,” I whisper
back. “You are so my new best friend.”
Peyton and Aiden are going on and on about the other plans for our Parisian weekend. They’ve gotten a lot of buy in and have lots of support and everything is going well, but they don’t have a catchy name yet. A slogan.
They are all brainstorming. I’m in a brain fog, half trying to sleep with my eyes open and half listening to the lame things they are coming up with. They say things like, A Night in Paris, A weekend in Paris, I see London, I see France, (which personally I thought was kinda clever) Cougars & Croissants, Berets and Beignets, Viva la France, Bonjour, LaAmore.
And Peyton is going on about how she doesn’t like any of those. How it should evoke romance.
I’m still barely awake, I’m sort of daydreaming, and I wistfully think what Aiden told me that day, because it sounded so romantic. And I think maybe I whispered it out loud, “Top of the Eiffel Tower, sunset.” (This is the best thing ever. . . )
“What did you say,” Brad says.
“Huh, what?” There goes my daydream.
“What did you just say about the Eiffel tower?”
I think, and then say quietly, “Uh, top of the Eiffel Tower, sunset.”
Peyton hears and says, “Oh, that’s it. That sounds so romantic. Top of the Eiffel Tower at sunset. I love it.”
I gulp realizing what I’ve just done. I don’t dare look at Aiden, but I do. He does his thing, where he stares at me, looks into my soul, grabs it and won’t let go.
Then he blinks slowly, and his mouth starts that slow buildup to a smile. The little smirk, the smile, the full wattage grin.
And I’m thinking, oh shit.
I’ve got to get more sleep!!
After the meeting, I avoid Aiden, run out of the meeting to the safety of Riley and my first class.
Riley says, “So, Dallas told me about last night. He seemed a bit suspicious if you ask me. What’s going on?”
“What’s going on is I’m up doing your history homework half the night, while you snore away. Then I’m so exhausted I fall asleep trying to study for English with Dallas.”
“Hmm, okay. So you excited for today?”
“Uh, for the away game?”
“No, baby. They’re going to announce student council officers today. Like at the end of this class.”
“Oh wow, I forgot about that.”
“You must need more sleep. You doing okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“I think you’re gonna win. Not sure which office, but definitely win. Dallas and I were doing some polling yesterday after we voted. It was looking good. Well it was looking good til Dallas starting in on his new poll, which was bra colors and trying to guess a girl’s cup size.” (Dallas and his Panties for the Poor and cup sizes and pick-up lines are awesome. Makes me love him even more because he always can make me laugh.)
He leans in toward me, “He’s not very good at it. Now me. I am good at it. Pretty sure I am physic.”
I fold my hands in prayer and close my eyes.
“What are you doing?”
“Praying that the freshman girls will be protected from your evil ways.”
“Naughty ways, maybe, but not evil. You should know, baby.”
“I still don’t know why I let you call me baby. I should be taking offense to it.”
“That and that’s what Tommy calls all us girls. I think it’s kinda comforting.”
“Good. Now give me your worksheet, so I can copy it quick.”
Our teacher drones on and on and thanks to the redbull and the cup of coffee I snagged before class, I have enough of a caffeine buzz to keep me awake. Sorta.
The dean comes over the announcements and says, “And now time for Freshman Student Council officer results. Your new President is Benjamin Roberts, Your new Vice president is Keatyn Monroe…….”
Riley starts cheering and hugging me, and I don’t get to hear who got secretary. I’m feeling pretty freaking happy though. And it’s really not a surprise that I came in second to Benjamin, I mean he did promise an ipad in every hand. I think some president ran on that platform sometime in history, like maybe during the depression. Did he promise a chicken in every kitchen, or a cow in every barn or something like that?
Rest of today was a blur.
Rest of today was a blur. Six more classes, lunch, soccer, lots of congratulations. I got my long ass detention waved until tomorrow morning, since I had to get on the bus at five for the trip to the away football game, talked excitedly with Maggie and Katie about tonight’s after party, then danced and cheered for the team. We lost though. Bummer.
Now I find myself sitting on the bus with Aiden sitting next to me. Don’t ask me how it happened. Clearly the fates have collided or something. I did really try and get on Dawson’s bus. But then Aiden had my arm and was guiding me on the other bus, toward the very back, and I didn’t resist.
And Dawson’s mad at me. He had a rough game, got sacked four times.
Dawson: Why aren’t you on this bus?
Me: I tried. Coach told me it was full.
Dawson: I saved you a seat.
Me: Well, you should have told Coach, cuz he wouldn’t let me on.
Me: I know. But I’m just gonna sleep. We can party when we get back.
Dawson: Congrats again, I have some tequila shots calling your name:)
Me: Sounds fun <3
Saturday, Sept 17th
You can call me Shark.
Alarm goes off at 6. I’m, well I want to say I am tired, but truth is, I’m a bit hungover. Dawson and I did celebrate last night. And I think I had like maybe one too many shots. I wasn’t like raging drunk or shit faced or anything, just well pretty tipsy and okay, fine, so maybe I was drunk. Just not hammered drunk in a bad way. Don’t remember what happened kind of way. Because I clearly remember what happened. I wanted to drag Dawson back to his room, and he told me no. (Join me in a few snaps for Dawson.)
That I was drunk.
And then walked me home.
Hit the snooze three more times, decide it might be smart not to be late, looked up online, thanking God that there is no dress code for Saturday detentions. Wore a ponytail, ball cap, shorts, T-shirt and Uggs, ran and grabbed a latte, whole grain muffin and some fruit.
Eating it at the detention desk at 6:55 and very proud of myself for being early to detention. Which now that I think about it, seems extremely uncool.
To my surprise there are four other kids in Saturday detention and when the teacher walks out to get more coffee, I ask why everyone’s there.
Like what they did. (I will point out that I didn’t consider the fact at this moment that I am living a scene from the movie, The Breakfast Club.)
So there was Sam, who said, “But you can call me Shark.” He got caught taking bets on the freshman elections.
“Oh, what were my odd?”
“You were a long shot to lose, sweets. Legs like that, no way you’d lose.”
Then there was Amanda. Amanda sorta looks like a bad girl. Jet black hair, kinda a Joan Jett shaggy look. I can’t decide if she’s trying to look rockerish or slightly goth. She’s funny as shit though, and I instantly like her smart ass wise cracks.
Obviously it was this talent that led her to detention. Turns out she’s fancies herself as an actress, is excited for drama production tryouts, which are coming up in a few weeks.
You should totally try out, she tells me, “We’re doing this comedy. It’s called The Bachelor Prince. It’s like this spoof of the reality show, only there are two princes and they are in a reality show style race to see who can find their true love first. The one that wins, gets to be King. There’s a part you would be so perfect for. There’s this sweet girl from Texas that falls in love for real with the good prince, but then the bad prince tries to keep them apart. It’s like not a lead, but has a big impact on the show. Have you ever thought about acting?”
Then she’s a smart ass to herself. “I mean you do everything else.” (I love this line!)
“Um, I have thought about acting a little, my dad was a model and acted some.”
Before she can ask his name, I say, “But he died though.”
And she says, “I’m sorry.” (Obviously that got cut.)
There’s an guy from the cross country team that hazed a freshman. He tied his shoes together under the bleachers. Funny if you ask me and not that haze worthy, but the kid fell down and knocked out a front tooth, so everyone was all freaked out about that.
Then there is an overachieving sophomore girl, who is actually in my french class, named Marie, that did actually fall asleep and miss curfew. She was in the library and apparently the librarian did not see her because she was working on a laminating project for something. By like an hour. She is also mortified that she would ever find herself in detention as she has “Never had one in my ENTIRE life!” (I also really like Shark’s character. I can so picture him. Walking around, taking bets, chip on his shoulder, flask in his pocket. He was just supposed to be in this scene, but I liked him so much, he ended up being more important and even a love interest for Whitney!)
“So how bout you?” she asks me.
“Wait,” Shark says. “Let’s guess and make some odds.”
Everyone seems to think this sounds fun.
And I’m curious to know what these people, who have never met me, think I would get into trouble for.
Won’t bore us with the lengthy discussion, but here’s what they came out with and the odds:
3:1 Was caught in the boys dorm with her boyfriend.
“Ohmigawd, he is sooooo dreamy.”
6:1 Talked back to a teacher.
2:1 Caught in another boy’s dorm room
“I heard you were in some other boys room studying.”
4:1 Got caught smoking weed.
“Oh, I would think those odds would be lower, doesn’t everyone from California do that?”
“No silly, she would have gotten kicked out for that.”
“No, you don’t get kicked out. Just a short suspension.”
8:1 Got lost trying to find her way back to her dorm.
“I mean she is blonde AND on the dance team.”
“Hey, I’m also in the student council, the literary club, the french club and the social committee.”
“How did you get on the social committee?”
“Yeah, freshman never get on that.”
“It’s a long story, but a teacher asked me to. I’m in French Two cuz I’ve lived in France some, and I’m tutoring someone.”
“Aiden. Do you know him?”
“Ohmigawd! EVERYONE knows Aiden. He’s as hot as they come.”
“So who’s hotter Aiden or Dawson?
“Ohhhh tough choice.”
“I have new odds. 3:1 your going to break up with Dawson and end up with Aiden.”
“Uh no. Dawson might break up with me. Well I don’t know, he is so sweet and we get along really well. Plus he’s hot.”
“Yeah I’m not at all gay, but the guy is really dreamy.”
We all laugh.
“Aiden’s cool though. He and I have a few classes together, and he’s like super chill. Not the stuck up jock you’d expect. We’ve talked about how girls always disappoint him, like how he’s looking for someone special. Like last year he had quite a few girlfriends. This year he hasn’t had any. Says he’s waiting for the dream girl.”
“What do you mean, the dream girl?”
“I don’t know, apparently someone he really likes but she doesn’t like him back.”
“No way. That’s bullshit. How could a girl NOT like him back. I’d pay a lot just to go out with him and sit and stare at those green eyes.”
“And have you ever seen him playing soccer with no shirt on? Seriously girls like go crazy.”
“So who are the hottest guys here?”
“Well Dawson, Aiden, Jake, I’ve never thought a freshman was hot before but Dawson’s not so little brother, what’s his name?”
“Yes, he should be on there. I’d say Logan.”
“And maybe Blake.”
“Oh yeah, he’s in a band.”
And Shark and my’s time is up.
We both walk out and sitting there is Aiden.
“What are you doing up so early?”
“Oh, just thought I’d say hey.”
Shark says, “Hey man,” to Aiden and as he’s walking away he says to me, “Odds just went to 2:1.”
“You look cute,” Aiden tells me.
“I look gross.”
“You always look beautiful to me.” (Swoon.)
And that comment just sorta hung there. Like someone possibly farted, and we can all smell it and know it was bad manners. (Why isn’t she swooning?!)
It was sweet he said it, but he knows he shouldn’t have.
“So last night on the bus was fun.”
“I slept on your shoulder the entire way.”
“And you had your hand on my waist the entire way.”
“Didn’t you sleep?”
“No. I just sat there and soaked it in.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Look, I think it’s pretty obvious that I like you.”
“Um, sometimes it seems like you do, but then other times it doesn’t.”
“When doesn’t it?”
“When you get mad at me and won’t talk to me, or you say mean things to me or about me.”
“I haven’t done that for awhile.”
My phone buzzes.
Brooklyn: Keats, call me today, please. I love you. I can’t stand having you mad at me. And tell your bf he’s an asshole.
Aiden looks at my phone. “I think I might like this guy.” (A whole lot of foreshadowing. Aiden and B do become friends in the future.)
“The last part.” He grins.
“He’s not an asshole. At all. He’s treated me like amazing.”
“I guess it’s just cuz my sister.”
“Your sister broke up with him. She could have forgiven him. Jeeze, we’re in high school, people get drunk, they make mistakes, I don’t think he should be labeled an asshole for one freaking mistake!”
“Calm down, I’m sorry, you’re right. I also hate him because he has you. Why does surfer dude still love you?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. This is all so confusing.
“You gonna forgive him, dump Dawson, and get back with him?”
I think maybe I can talk to Aiden about this. He knows about the Keats quotes. Maybe he can give me some advice or some sympathy. “He quoted me Keats again the other night. Makes it hard to resist.”
Aiden’s gorgeous green eyes literally turn black in front of me. He gets a pissed off look on his face and says, “Yeah, well hey, I gotta go. Sorry about detention, well actually, I’m not. You shouldn’t be dancing with a guy when you have a boyfriend. You deserved it.”
Then he marches off.
Okay, WTF??? (I’m with you on that, Keatyn. But come on! (Can’t you see he is JEALOUS? The kind of jealous that requires all capital letters?)
First, he’s telling me he likes me, then, he’s slamming me for hanging out with him?
For being nice to him. I didn’t do the clover and the dances cuz I WANTED to dance with him! It was like a sacrifice I made.
I was paying it forward!!!
Isn’t that supposed to get you bonus points in the karma of life???
Oh, I hate him sometimes.
Because me trying to be nice to him equals bad.
I got a detention, and now he’s mad at me!???
I will admit though, detention wasn’t all that bad. Shark, who has experience in detentions, says always opt for Saturday detentions cuz the guy that does them always leaves and you can talk.
What the hell. I’m calling Brooklyn.
“Wow. It’s like what? 6am there?”
“Yeah. I was up looking at the dawn, thinking how much I miss you.”
“I miss the dawn, I miss the beach, I miss the way things used to be.”
“Damn Keats, that was almost poetic.”
“Yeah well, whatever.”
“Are you going to forgive me?”
“I might after Tommy kicks your ass.”
“He doesn’t need to. Trust me, I have been beating myself up over this plenty. My chi is way out of whack and it’s because of you. My surfing sucks. My life is out of balance.”
You’re got to be freaking kidding me.
“So you want me to forgive you, so you can get your groove back?”
“So you don’t feel bad about what you did at all?”
“That’s why I won’t forgive you. It’s always all about you!”
I hang up madly.
Oh, I hate boys.
Okay, not all boys, just two in particular. And then I think of the one boy that has been nothing but sweet to me, my adorable boyfriend. So I call him. (And he is there waiting for her. Easy-to-please Dawson.)
He answers with a horse, sleepy, you just woke me up kind of voice. “Keatie.”
“You sound like you’re still in bed.”
“I am, you done with detention?”
“How bout I bring you some breakfast in bed?”
“I just want you in bed, but food would be good too.”
I stop and grab three glazed donuts and a carmel machiatto, which are his favorites, and a bottle of water for me.
I go to his room. He looks so adorable when he’s just waking up. It’s like sexy. His dark hair is messy, and he hasn’t shaved since yesterday morning, so he’ got that five o’clock shadow. He doesn’t get one by five, but if he goes a full day with out shaving, you start to see it and it looks sooooo good on him. His hair is sorta smooshed up on one side, like you can tell exactly how he was laying when he was sleeping.
“Mhmmm, come here,” he says, pulling back his covers, and then covering us both back up.
I snuggle up on his chest, but he smells so good, I can’t help but kiss his neck. Just soft little kisses.
Well, they started out that way.
Then I kiss his neck with a little more intention. Up by his ear, around his earlobe, back down the side of his neck, then across his check, and to his waiting mouth.
And the minute our lips meet, I have like a wave of desire run through my body.
Well that, or maybe it’s because he’s got his hands between my legs, rubbing me. I’m not sure. It’s sorta hard to focus on thoughts just now, because he’s quickly pulling off my shorts and well, his. And uh…..hang on. I can’t think right now.
Okay. Sorry. I got a bit distracted there. Sex with Dawson is like consuming. He makes me feel amazing, loved, happy. And well, hot. I have never felt like I was hot. I mean, Mom says I’m pretty, and I started to feel sorta pretty this summer, but not like Megan Fox hot. Like those girls that all the guys drool over, no matter what their type. But Dawson makes me feel like I could give Megan a run for her money. He always tells me how amazing I am, how sexy I am, how hot the sex is, how he loves it.
And having a guy tell you those things, regardless of how confident you are in yourself, how comfortable you are in your own skin, well, it just makes you feel hot and sexy. And I like the feeling. It makes me feel almost invincible.
“You make me feel like a superhero, Keatie.”
“A superhero?” How?”
“In bed. Like I feel like I could fly, kick the Hulk’s ass, bust Superman’s chops, all before lunch.” (I love this line.)
“Well, in bed, you are my superhero.” I giggle. “No one has ever made me feel like you do. Not that I have much experience in that regard, but you know what I mean. You make me feel sexy. It’s kinda addictive.”
“You’re addictive. I can’t get enough of you.” He kisses me. “I love you, Keatie.”
And it just feels right, so I say it finally, “Dawson.” (Interesting that she chooses this time to tell Dawson this. When she is pissed off at both Brooklyn and Aiden.)
“I love you too.”
We crashed for a while, me finally getting some much needed sleep, then we got up and went to work out. Dawson was lifting weights, while I was rotating through a little exercise circuit, trying to concentrate and not just sit and drool watching Dawson’s muscles flex. I will admit, I didn’t work out all that hard. I feel lazy today. And then I got a bit bored. So I started punching the punching bag again. Not out of anger, just like different kicks and moves Tommy’s trainers used to make us do. I like it because it’s fun, not monotonous, like jogging or doing the elliptical can sometimes be. And I’m having fun, getting a little stress out, when Aiden is standing in front of me.
“I was punching that earlier. Pretending it was your head.” (I can’t believe she says this. But I also love that she does.)
“You need to grow up. Figure out what you want before you go all telling girls you like them, then two seconds later deciding you don’t and walking away. It’s no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.” I maybe kinda snarled.
“I could get a girlfriend, like that,” he says, snapping his fingers.
“So why don’t you?”
He shrugs, “I’m not sure.”
“Yeah, well good luck with that.”
Dawson walks up to me, sweaty, but grinning. He sees Aiden, of course, and I think the iron pumping maybe got the testosterone flowing because all of a sudden Dawson seems very into me. He ignores Aiden, smacks my butt, says, “Come on, Baby. Time to get you back in bed.”
One. He never calls me baby.
Two. He never so blatantly lets people know we’ve been in bed.
Three. He never so blatantly suggests we are going to go do things in bed.
Four. Like not even in front of his friends.
Five. Like his friends have figured things out, are assuming things, but they don’t KNOW, because he hasn’t told them.
Six. And to say it to Aiden, of all people. He’s already punching my head theoretically. If I’m not careful, he may make a voodoo doll of me, and I will be going around doing normal stuff and like stop in pain, or start doing weird kicks in dance. He could make my life miserable if the voodoo doll worked.
And although on the inside I am horrified by all this, apparently on the surface, I find his smack and baby adorable. I grab his waist, giggle and say, “Already, again?” And drag him away from the god.
And even though mere hours ago I was chewing Brooklyn out about his inner chi being screwed up, I realize I am heading on the same downward spiral when I turn around, glance back at Aiden, catch his eye, and give him a satisfied smirk.
And the look that I got back, I really think it’s a good thing I’m inside because that look had the power to rain bolts of lightening straight down at me. (I’m thinking Aiden isn’t too happy here. First, Brooklyn. Now, Dawson.)
He told me he loves me.
Dawes and I didn’t go back to his room. He dropped me off at my dorm, told me to shower and get ready, that he was taking me out.
My phone rings while I’m sitting on my bed, my hair still wrapped up in a towel.
It’s my mom!! “Hey, Mom!”
“How are you? I feel like we haven’t talk in forever.”
“I know. I’ve talked or texted Tommy a few times.”
“Yeah, what’s that about? I thought you came to me for advice.”
“Well, Tommy says since he’s a boy, he knows what boys think.”
“So how’s his advice been so far?”
“Um, pretty good, I think. It’s hard to tell. Brooklyn texted me earlier this week, and then I talked to him today.”
“Oh, what’d he say?”
“He’s begging for forgiveness. Not because he actually thinks he did anything wrong, just because it’s throwing off his inner chi or something. I hung up on him.”
“And how’s Gorgeous?”
“He’s really, really good. Told me he loves me, we’re going out and today I told him I love you back. Because I’m pretty sure that I do.”
“You don’t know? You probably shouldn’t have said it then.”
“No, I do love him. It’s like hard to admit though. Like it opens you up to more possible hurt or something.”
“That’s the thing about love, you can get hurt, and you will get hurt. But some guys make the hurt all worth it.”
“Is that kind of what you meant when you were talking about Gracie’s labor?”
“Exactly. Getting through those eleven hours was brutal, but she was so worth it. The girls can’t wait to see you. They keep asking when Kiki is coming to see them, and Gracie said, We meet Kiki’s frwend, right Mommy? and then Avery and Emery both said, No Gweysie, it’s her BOY frwend. I’m seriously concerned they know the difference all ready.
“I love you, Mom. I can’t wait to see you.”
“I love you too, Kiki.”
(This scene also changed. This is the scene where they tell her they got a dog and named it Kiki. LOL)
Dawson took me into town for lunch. We stopped at this dive that he says has the best hamburgers ever and sat at a little picnic table out front, eating what was the best hamburger of my life. And I’m pretty sure it was because of the company, not the actual meal. He fed me french fries and bought me a chocolate cone with sprinkles for dessert. We wandered happily hand in hand along a row of little shops.
Oh and I started on the pill as soon as I got them from mom a few weeks ago. From what I read online it said I should be protected after being on it for seven days, but the doctor suggested I wait til after my first period to consider myself fully protected. I also started them on a sunday and the brochure said that means I will always get my period during the week, leaving weekends, well, you know. Open for fun. I’m surprised to discover that my period has started. I didn’t even have cramps!! I’m so excited about that I can hardly stand it.
Riley and Ace both texted us, said a bunch of people were meeting up to go watch some college football games at a big sports bar and then to have dinner there. It was gorgeous out, so we all sat around big tables on the sports bar’s patio and watched the game on the rows of flat screens. Then we went and saw a movie.
We did all that, he walked me to my dorm and kissed me over and over until I was almost late, and then I fell happily exhausted into bed.
Sunday, September 18th
Went to church service on campus with Dawes at eleven. Then we had lunch.
At lunch, Jake and Ace were trying to get enough people together to play a game of softball or kickball or something. They decided kickball would be the most fun, plus we didn’t all need baseball gloves.
Aiden and some of his friends volunteered to play as well. He was one of the first people Jake picked to be on his team. Ace picked Dawes, and then Jake picked me. Stuck his tongue out at Dawson. Dawson grabbed me around the waist, kissed me like a really good long kiss, and then was like, “Don’t get mad at me after my team kicks your team’s ass.”
“Hmmm, what do I get if my team wins?”
“Me, of course,” he replies.
I flit over to our side of the field feeling happy and loved. Aiden snarls, “Now I want to lose. I never want to lose.” (Jealous.)
“Why would you want to lose?”
“So you don’t get Dawson. Hang out with me tonight.”
“I can’t. I’m going out with Dawes, you know that.”
“I need some help on my French, like really, we have that test on Tuesday. A bunch of us are going to the library to study.”
“Fine. We’ll study. After this.”
I take Annie with me to study for French. I told her we could study together and this makes it not seem like a date thing, which sometimes our tutoring time does. And I’m really happy with Dawson. I don’t want to mess it up because some silly god feels like messing with me.
We actually got a lot of studying done. Aiden brought his friends Nick, Angela, and Stewart. They all have French 2 as well, just a different period. We studied for a couple hours and then we were all hungry so we ordered pizza and went to Nick’s dorm room to eat it. Then we decided we needed to do more studying, but didn’t want to go back to the library.
Aiden suggested we chill in the hot tub at the rec center and we could still quiz each other on words and stuff there.
Honestly in the hot tub we mostly jacked around. Aiden picked me up out of the hot tub and threw me in the pool. Well actually he jumped in holding me. When we both came up for air, we had this moment. One of those moments where I was so mad at him, but then he’s holding me in the water, and I swear it felt like he was going to kiss me. I know he wanted to. Honestly, I kinda wanted him to kiss me. (One of those moments. . . One of so many in this series.)
I mean like if I didn’t have a boyfriend already kind of thing.
I like Dawson.
I do not like Aiden.
Aiden makes me melt one minute and boil the next.
Why would I want a relationship like that?
Dawson is sweet, he’s a good friend, a good boyfriend and he makes me hot.
What more could I want?
Annie and I are in the locker room changing out of our swimsuits.
I see my phone in my locker. I have numerous texts and a couple missed calls from Dawson.
Dawson: Hey 🙂 I wanna see you tonight <3 (6:15pm)
Dawson: Where are you? (6:42 pm)
Dawson: Why aren’t you replying? (7:14 pm)
Dawson: I heard you were in the library studying with Aiden and now no one seems to know where you are. Just fyi, I’m headed up to his room. (8:22 pm)
Dawson: This is bullshit. (9:10 pm)
Me: Hey, sorry. What’d ya want? (9:26 pm)
Dawson: What I want is to know where you’ve been and why you weren’t replying.
Me: I didn’t have my phone.
Dawson: Okay. You wanna tell me where you were?
Me: Oh, yeah, sorry. I was studying in the library with Annie, Aiden, Nick and some other people for our French test. Then we ordered pizza and ate it in Nick’s room. He’s in a different dorm. Then we decided to study in the hot tub in the rec center.
Dawson: We’ve never lied to each other right?
Me: That’s right. And I’m not now. Ask Annie, Nick, Stewart, Angela. They were all there.
Dawson: It seems like Aiden is always trying to find an excuse to spend time with you. (He’s got a valid point.)
Me: You’re the only one I want to spend time with. Can I come over now, make it up to you?
Dawson: What did you do that you have to make up for?
And that text, I have to say, makes me mad. So screw my adorable boyfriend. I don’t need this right now. I had a good night with some friends and I’m not going to feel bad about it. I also have more homework to do.
Me: I thought maybe I made you worry, or whatever. Never mind. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Dawson: No, I’m sorry. I’m being a jealous jerk. Meet my outside your dorm. We can go for a walk?
I’m such a pushover.
“So studying in the hot tub is a good idea. We need to go in there. It’s usually pretty private. We could have some fun,” Dawson tells me as we walk down to the football stadium. I know this is where we’re going.
“Yeah, it was nice. Although, we didn’t do that much studying once we got there. Everyone was screwing around and talking. Aiden threw me in the pool. He can be such a jerk.”
“Well that wasn’t very nice. Why’d he do that?”
“I don’t know.”
“How did he do it?”
“Throw you in the pool?”
“Uh, what do you mean?”
“I mean like did he push you in?”
“Um, no. He like picked me up and like carried me screaming while he jumped in.”
“He carried you?”
“Nick did it to Angela. They don’t like each other. Okay, you know what. I’m done with this conversation. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No, but, never mind. I’ll take care of it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’ll just talk to Aiden.”
“And why would you do that.”
“He needs to stop flirting with my girl.”
“Oh my gosh. Seriously?”
“You think I’m being dumb, right?”
I get a big grin on my face. “I think you need a talking to.” I push him gently with both my hands, but I gestured big, which made it look like I was trying to push him hard. He lets himself get pushed up against the brick wall that surrounds the stairs going up to the bleachers.
He gives me a little grin.
I grab the front of his shirt, get in close to his face, say, “I love you,” and kiss him hard. He wraps his arms tight around me and we kiss and kiss for awhile.
“You make me so hot. Can we go back to my dorm?”
“No time. Plus I’m on my period. You’ll have to make do with kisses for tonight. And any other night you act like a jealous boy.”
(I think this scene is cute. I like how Keatyn doesn’t take his crap—even though she may deserve it.)
Monday, September 19th
Just throwing out a lot of love there.
Social Committee meeting. Why else would I be up so early? (Keatyn and I both hate mornings.)
Aiden, Peyton and Brad and I all give updates on where things stand on the French weekend. then Peyton says, “Okay so let’s talk about homecoming. It’s only three weeks away. We also need to decide on a theme for our next event. I’m thinking since Homecoming is only a few weeks away and then we go into November and Thanksgiving, maybe we do it somewhere in between like say the second weekend in November.
Everyone decides that sounds great. Brad decides he is going to do a social committee facebook page and then he’s going to ask a questionnaire where people can vote for 4 different themes. We decided we didn’t want each one to be about a different country so we decided on Eighties, Greek (as in Mythology and togas), Elizabethan era, (think Jane Austen), Hogwarts/Harry Potter.
He’s also going to do a wall post asking people to comment on what they liked, didn’t like, suggestions, right after the French movie night.
“Okay, on to homecoming.” Peyton says. I really don’t think there is anything we can do for Homecoming. It’s such a big tradition, it’s all pretty much set in stone, but I was thinking it would be cool if we could come up with something. So each day of spirit week, we dress up. We have the voting for court, the parade, the pep rally and bonfire, the alumni tailgate, the game, the coronation, the alumni picnic and then the dance.”
Brad says, “Yeah, it’s a really busy weekend. It’s fun, but a lot of it is geared toward the alumni. Like we always have a great time going out to dinner on our own, but then I wish they didn’t come to the dance too. Like our welcome back dance is always a blast, but you can’t like bump and grind in front of the alumni, or you get into trouble, so the music is kinda lame.”
“So why can’t we have our own dance?” I ask.
“They’d never let us,” Peyton sighs. “This weekend is a huge tradition. Been done this way for like decades or something. All the alumni come back, bring their families. They incorporate the class reunions into it.”
“So we can’t change what’s in place?”
“Can we add to it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well there is something you’re definitely missing.”
“An after party. We go to dinner, do the alumni dance, leave at eleven right after the coronation, go to our own after party.”
“What would we do, where would we have it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we rent out a club, get a sweet dj, change out of our pretty dresses into something more club appropriate.”
“As in skimpy? I’m a fan of the idea already.”
Well sure, dancing’s hard work,
There’s no way the school would pay for all that. But it sounds so fun.
So why don’t we?
We pay for it. Come on Peyton, you drive a Porsche, your brother drives a Maserati, Brad, I saw your Mercedes, saw Dawson’s house, any reason we can’t ask our parents to pitch in?
I don’t know about your parents but I’m pretty sure mine would be cool with it. Maybe like 5 or 10 of us go in on it.
So does that mean we’d make it exclusive? Like only invite the coolest people.
No. That wouldn’t be as fun. We want the place packed. I grin. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a special vip area.
How would u decide who would get in there?
Well let’s figure out what it will cost. We’ll need to pay to rent the club, hire a sweet DJ, we’ll need food, like snacks when we get there, lots of energy drinks, then later, I think we could serve breakfast or all just go out for breakfast.”
“We could say if your parents contribute x dollar amount, that you get a VIP pass.”
“Could we make it tax deductible?”
“I would think so, we’ll run the money through our social committee account.”
“And maybe if you get a VIP pass, then you can bring in like so many friends or something. Make it like a place to sit, relax, chill.”
Then we want everyone on the dance floor.
Does anyone have any connections to a really good dj? Or know of a club?
brad says I have an idea for a club let me check it out. So we want it from say midnight to 6am?
Yeah. That will give us all time to go home, change and get there.
Anyone know a good DJ?
Uh I think I can handle that one.
Peyton says, let me talk to my mom.
And I can ask Dawson’s mom. And I also might know someone who would do it.
You know what though. It will be a lot of work for us to try and do. And coordinate. Like it will be fine to work some during french weekend, but like for this night we just wanna party. What if we hired an event planner? We make the decisions before and they do it all the day of?
Okay so let’s meet back thursday morning. If were gonna do it we don’t have much time.
Uh, y’all these 7am meetings are about to kill me. Any chance we could do the special discussion meeting for this event like later?
Aiden says yeah, let’s all go out for dinner, get pizza work and eat?
And make calls today. I can get you a pass out of class if you need it.
Let’s meet at 6:30, then we can all carpool into town. (Sorry, this scene is pretty rough. It literally has no punctuation whatsoever.)
As we’re walking to get coffee, Aiden says to me, “You should go to homecoming with me..”
“I have a date already.”
“Bet he hasn’t asked you to the after party.”
I laugh at him. “Cuz he doesn’t know about the after party and plus I wouldn’t think the after party would be a date thing. Its a shake your ass bump and grind with everyone kind of thing. See you missed out on that with your 29 slow dances.”
“I loved our 29 dances. I love to dance with you. I love to be with you.”
“Why don’t you just say it?” I tease him. Give him my sexiest grin.
“You love me.”
“Naw not yet. You have a bf.”
“You told me that I’m in love with you.”
“So, you were just throwing out a lotta love there.” (Another one of my favorite lines.)
And all of a sudden Aiden looks like a normal nervous boy, there is a bead of sweat just below his hairline.
He changes the subject. “You have really good ideas. Like seriously.”
“only for parties lol”
“Naw you have that um like you think outside the box, you think anything is possible, you have like this cool version on the world. Its refreshing.”
“Well we can do whatever we dream. Can’t we?”
He looks at me with those eyes. Says a bit shyly, “I sure hope so.”
“Aiden. What have you been dreaming about me?”
He blushes. Seriously, he actually blushed. And I was just teasing.
I mean I’ve had dreams about him. But he BLUSHED! That means his dreams were sexual. (He blushed!)
“You’ve had dreams about me. Tell me about them.”
“Come on. I’ll tell you one I had about you. It was naughty.”
Then I get the smile, the mega watt, can’t look directly into it like the sun cuz it hurts your eyes bright. “Do tell,” he says.
“No you first.” I tell him. “Did we have sex? Like in your dream?”
“He doesn’t answer, instead he says, “Did we have sex in yours?”
“Yeah. Well, I mean sorta. We did but I didn’t know it was you.”
“How didn’t you know it was me?”
“If I tell you that I have to tell you the whole dream.”
“If I’m going to tell you, I need alcohol. Meet me at the cave tonight.”
Tonight we are having a girls night. Me, Katie, Annie, Maggie, Mallory and we invited Angie too. We order chinese food, do pedis and manis, watch secret life of the American teen and Gossip Girl and drink some really nasty wine with screw top lid.
We had a big discussion of how the Gossip Girl books and show are so much different. We like Chuck and Blair together, but we really don’t see enough of Nate. He seriously needs to have a hot affair with Serena.
We also discussed possible homecoming dates. Annie is hoping that Ace will ask her. They have been doing some serious making out, but everything so far has stayed above the clothes, well, I think maybe he felt her up some. Katie and Carson are still kissing, but he is kinda not acting like he wants it to be anything more than that. She is thinking maybe Parker would be a better option. Maggie sorta hooked up a bit with a cute junior boy this past weekend, but doesn’t expect a date out of it. She really isn’t interested in him. Bryce and Mallory have been flirting when they see each other, but they aren’t talking yet. (This absolute mess of a few paragraphs got cut—with good reason. Although, I do love when the girls hang out in their dorm and gossip.)
Tuesday, September 20th
He thinks he’s a sex god.
Drank too much wine. Not enough to be tipsy even, but enough to like make me tired. I was already tired, so it relaxed me and I crashed. I didn’t go meet Aiden. He called and texted me, but I didn’t wake up.
“So you’re taking my brother to meet the parents…sounds serious.” (Riley says.)
“Well, it is kinda serious, I guess. But I met your parents like two weeks ago.”
“So how are things going between you two?”
“Good, great I think. He got mad at me the other night though and was acting kinda stupid jealous.”
“Would you rather have a guy that doesn’t care?”
“Uh, no. That would be like Brooklyn and no, I don’t want one like him.”
“He told me you were with Aiden last night.”
“And Annie and a bunch of people studying for our french test.”
“In a hot tub?”
“Well, that was the plan. Regardless, it was fun. And I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“So you’re not in love with the hottie god anymore?”
“That wasn’t love. I just, I thought he was cute, and he has a certain charm about him, but he tells me he likes me one minute, and that I deserve detention the next.” (Oops.)
Oh shit. Please do not ask me about this. Please. Let it slide.
“He told you he likes you? Was this recently?”
“Um, no. It was a while ago. So what about you? You and are Ariela are cute together. She seems a little to sweet for you though.”
He flicks my hair.
“What do you mean to sweet for me?”
“Well, she’s not like the whoredom girls I’m thinking. Is she still a virgin?”
“Actually, she is.” He grins big.
“Why are you grinning so much?”
“Cuz I kinda like that about her. I’ll get to be her first. Like I hope. But that won’t be for a while. She wants to be in love before she does that, like real love.” (This also changed. Ariela was not a virgin, but she did make Riley wait for what felt like forever to him.)
“And you want her to fall in love with you? Usually you’re good with just lust.”
“Yeah, well, I really like her, I’m not just a sex god, you know,” he laughs. “Plus, like hooking up is fun, but I think it’d be cool to do it with like the same person. Truthfully, my brother has been so happy, I kinda wanna be that way too.”
“Your brother is happy because all of a sudden he thinks he’s a sex god.” (LOL)
Riley laughs out loud.
The teacher says, “Riley, you have something to share with the class?”
Riley clears his voice, trying to stop his laughing. “No, sir.”
As we’re leaving class, I can’t help but give him a big hug.
“What’s that for?”
“My whittle Wiley is growing up and falling in luuuvvvrreeee.”
“Do not tell anyone I said that. Ruin my reputation.”
Then I’m the one that starts giggling.
He grabs my sides and starts tickling me. “Hey, that is not something to be laughing about.”
He can go it alone.
I walk into class and Aiden is already sitting in his desk, book open, doing some last minute studying.
“Hey, sorry about last night. Did you not get my text this morning?”
“Yeah I got it. Just didn’t have anything to say back.”
He’s pissed at me.
“Oh. Um, you’re gonna do good on this test. Good luck.”
“Why do you doubt it? We’ve studied hard.”
“I was up late, sitting outside, waiting for this girl to show up, when I should’ve been asleep.”
The teacher starts handing out tests, and I’m not supposed to say anything, but I turn around and say, “Maybe if you replied to my text, I could explain.”
“Sure you were busy with your boyfriend.”
Miss Praline says, “Keatyn, turn around, and no talking during the test.”
“I feel asleep. I’m sorry.”
Now I can’t concentrate. He’s mad at me. Mad I didn’t go to the cave. Mad I have a boyfriend. And that’s his fault really. I could have been his girlfriend ages ago if he would just stop all this, when you’re going to be together forever, time doesn’t matter shit. Because clearly it matters to him.
And after class, he won’t say a word to me. Just leaves. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to tutor him tonight. He can go it alone.
Kiss the babies for me!
Woke up this morning to discover that my period is pretty much gone. I never had them for that long to begin with, usually four or five days, but this has only been barely three days. Oh my gosh! I LOVE the pill. And it has NOTHING to do with sex!
I call my mom right after school, before I go to dance.
“Mom! I LOVE being on the pill! Why didn’t you put me on it before?”
Mom lets out a sigh. “Keatyn! Tell me you didn’t sleep with someone else, and you know that the pill will not protect you against sexually transmitted diseases! You should still be using a condom!”
“OH, gosh, Mom. Chill. That’s not what I’m talking about. I just had my period. It lasted only three days, and I never even got cramps! It’s so amazing! It also means I won’t have my periods on game days. So I’ll never have to dance and worry about it. I just called to tell you thanks. And maybe yell at you for not telling me about this sooner.”
She calms down a little. I hear her make a little yoga breath.
“Oh, good. Well I’m glad that’s working out. Cramps suck. My whole concern with putting you on it though was that I was worried that you would think it mean that you could just have sex without regard.” (That would be my concern, as well.)
“I get it, Mom. You were afraid I’d turn into a slut or something.”
“Well, yeah, pretty much.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve only done like six or seven guys so far, so I’ve been good.” I suppress a laugh.
“Kiki, that is NOT funny!” Mom yells, her panties definitely in a wad.
“Actually, it kinda is. Bye, Mom! Kiss the babies for me.”
Longest week of my life.
Dallas, Riley and I decide to start a tradition of going for mexican food on Tuesdays, Taco Tuesday. It’s a fun thing to do. Riley thought it should be just the guys tonight.
I can’t decide if I’m flattered or insulted that I am counted as one of the guys.
Only down side it that’s the night of the Freshman football games, so any of the guys on the Freshman team don’t get to go.
But Dallas got moved up to JV linebacker last week during practice, and Parker and Riley are both playing just JV and Varsity.
On the way there, Dawson is complaining, “How much longer are you gonna have your period do you think?”
“It’s pretty much over today.”
“Really, already? That seems fast. Is that normal?”
“Actually, no. It’s not normal for me. Uh, so I have something I need to tell you.” I’m really excited to tell him about the pill, I think he will be glad about it, yet I’m sorta nervous to bring it up.
But his eyes get huge. He veers off the road into a parking lot, then turns and looks at me.
“Are you pregnant? How could that even be? We’ve used a condom every single time!”
“What?” I reach out and touch his arm, slide my hand down it, calming him. “I’m not pregnant. I just had my period, silly.”
He blows out a huge breath of air. “Oh. Yeah. Oh. my. gosh. You about gave me a heart attack. The way you said, I have something I need to tell you.”
And part of my feels slightly offended at this. Obviously, I would freak out too if I was, but there’s a tiny part of me that wants him to say, I don’t know, something more reassuring. (Yes, that would be nice.)
“That’s probably something we should discuss beings we’re having sex.” (And yes, it probably is something you should have discussed and considered BEFORE you had sex.)
“You mean like what we’d do if that happened?”
“Oh.” He runs his hand through his hair, sighs big. “I don’t know what we’d do. Don’t you kind of have to be in that situation to decide?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well like how old we were at the time, if you wanted to keep it, if you didn’t, if you wanted to have it, if you didn’t, all that. I think it’s easy to say, oh I’d have it, or oh, I’d get rid of it, but then if you were actually in the situation, I would think even if you planned one thing, you might decide to do another.”
“Like what do you mean?”
“Keatie, I love you. I don’t want a baby now. I don’t want a baby until I’m married, out of college probably, but if you were pregnant, right now, I’d have a really hard time giving it up.”
And I’m pretty sure, with those words, I just fell madly in love with him. (Don’t look at the light, Keatyn.)
I lean over and kiss him, “I’m sorry I freaked you out. The reason my period wasn’t normal, why it was shorter, is because I went on the pill.”
His face lights up. “Ohhhhhhhhh. So we won’t have to use a condom anymore?”
“Well, I mean doubling up the protection is a good thing, plus I mean, have you been like tested or anything?”
“I don’t have anything, Keatie. Do you?”
He leans over and kisses me deeply.
“We better get to dinner.”
We eat a whole bunch of tacos. I’m still amazed when I sit down with a group of boys just how much they can eat.
After dinner, Parker starts telling us about how he broke up with Sara, a freshman girl I don’t know very well.
Dallas is like, “Dude, you only dated for like a week.”
“Longest week of my life.”
And I’m like, “Why’s that?”
“Do you know how much work girls are?”
“Uh, I guess not?”
“She wanted me to sit around all night texting her. No offense, but I like just had dinner with her, we did homework together, we made out, but she didn’t want to do anything but that, and I’m okay with that, but then I wanna come back to room, kill a few zombies with my boys, she gets all pissed off! Calls me, saying, Why aren’t you replying to my texts?” He used a funny bitchy girly voice when he said what she said. It makes us all laugh.
Ace says, “I hate high maintenance chicks.”
Bryce agrees, “They’re ALL high maintenance.”
Riley still laughing says, “If they would just understand it’s hard to text when you’re saving the world from obliviation, nazi zombies and shit.”
All the guys laugh.
“Dude,” Parker says, “my kill ratio is better than all of yours.” (I love that she gets to go to Taco Tuesday with the guys. That they can hang out with her and not filter things. And sadly, it’s what boys do talk about. Sex, cars, video games, sports, girls.)
“No way,” Dallas says, “mine is the best because I’ve gotten further in the game. You got totally powned when you played me. Now, Ace, he sucks.” (Not sure if powned is an actual word in real life, but my son and his friends used it all the time in reference to video games. I think it basically means you got owned. Not sure why the p is on the front of it. Actually, just looked this up on Urban Dictionary and discovered that only lame people spell it “powned” and that the correct spelling is “pwned” because that makes so much more sense.)
And thus ensues a verbal war of who is better at killing fake things with a fake gun with a controller in your hand. I totally do not get the video game draw. Brooklyn used to get high with his friends after surfing, then they would “chill”, which meant they sat around in his game room on the floor pillows and played video games. Brooklyn has a sweet game room, low couches, beanbags, pillows and the big draw was four separate xboxes, so they could all get on LIVE and play with each other while sitting side by side.
Even Tommy would play with them occasionally. Tommy said video games reach the primal depths of a man. Their need to kill and provide. Since now they just make money to provide, video games give them with the opportunity to release this natural desire. Of course, then all Brooklyn’s friends started talking about their other “natural desires,” and I thought my ears would bleed before Tommy told me I should probably go home.
That was the night Brooklyn came with me. To my room, apparently because he had a few desires of his own.
It was a little over a year ago. I thought he was the sweetest boy ever for not ditching me for his friends. For holding my hand as we walked up the beach, telling me I looked beautiful in the moonlight. It was the first night he really kissed me. Made out with me, felt me up, talked me into trying some other things that I’d never done. (This little flashback was cut. Because it didn’t happen that way anymore. And quite honestly, I don’t think I would like B much if it had.)
I whisper to Dawes, “Am I high maintenance?”
“Naw, you’re cool. I’m not really listening to them though. All I can think about is doing it without one, ya know? I’ve never, have you?”
I shake my head no, as Ace says to them, “Although ya know, texting a girl is pretty much considered foreplay these days. Don’t you want some!?”
Parker and Bryce both get big eyes, look at each other and then they’re like, “not worth the hassle.”
Riley says, “Dallas, you’ve been awful quiet on this subject.”
Dawson has been holding my hand under the table. He picks my hand up, puts in on his crotch to show me exactly how much he’s been thinking about it. He’s sitting there with a boner!
I laugh out loud.
Riley looks at me, says, “You know about this?”
I have no idea really what they’re even talking about. Something about girls. I just nod my head yes.
Riley grabs Dallas’s phone and puts it in front of me. “Look at this!” Riley scrolls though the current list of the eight girls that he’s all currently texting.
While we’re looking down at the screen, I say, “Dallas! You’re talking to all these girls? And Riley, you’re just jealous.”
Dallas grins, “Well you know, just keeping my options open.” (Love how Dallas and Riley switch. Like Dallas becomes the player, and Riley falls in love.)
And Riley says, “Dawes, you never play COD with us anymore.” (COD= Call of Duty.)
“I’d much rather hang with Keatie than play COD with you douches.”
“Yeah, cuz we won’t put our hand where hers is. Well, Bryce might. I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”
I try to move my hand, but Dawson covers it with his and it stays put.
Bryce says, “I used to be gay with Dawes, but he ditched me for Kiki.”
Then he says, “Keatyn, you gotta set me up with a hottie, but she HAS to be a low maintenance girl like you.”
“I’m not sure being low maintenance is a good thing.”
“Sure it is. You’re chill.”
“I’m not sure it’s a good thing,” I say again. Thinking back to Brooklyn. I want to be worth the effort. “Maybe girls just want to know they’re worth a little effort. Think of the effort you put into beating a COD game, or into memorizing all your football plays. Is it too much to ask for just some of that same attention?”
Ace has been listening to me very closely. I forget how smart he is when I look at him. He totally looks like a dumb jock. “That’s a good point, Keatyn.”
Then the boys go on and on discussing girls and sex vs. video games.
Dawson whispers in my ear, “Let’s get out of here.” He throws some money down on the table, grabs my hand as we stand up, and says, “We’re gonna go. We have, uh, some errands to run before we go back to school.”
I tell everyone, “Bye, see ya.”
Riley says, “What kind of errands exactly?”
Dawson flips him off.
It’s dark outside now. When we get to Dawson’s car, he starts kissing me. My back is leaned up against his door, and he’s kissing me, fast, sexy, I know what’s on his mind kisses. He runs his hand up my dress and pulls my panties down, down to the hem of my dress. I’m a little shocked by his boldness.
“Take them off,” he tells me.
Normally I don’t like to be told what to do, or like being given commands, but I do it, no questions asked.
He goes, “Mhmmm, maybe,” as I slide my thong off.
“Dawson! No! There’s people around!”
He leans into me, his weight on my chest. I love that feeling “I wanna do it like this. Up against my car.”
“Might scratch it,” I tease him.
He grabs a piece of my hair, twirls it on his finger and stares at it, like it’s the most interesting thing he has ever seen, then says dreamily, “I wouldn’t care.”
Uh, he wouldn’t care if he got a scratch? This is a guy that parks a mile from the restaurant and takes up two parking spots, so he doesn’t get a door ding. He wipes the car off with cloth diapers. And the day the school’s sprinklers turned on it, I thought he was going to have a coronary. (There may be a man I happen to know who has had the sprinklers turned on their car and, in fact, practically had a coronary about it.)
But the way he’s got his body pushed up against me, I know he’s serious. “You better get us somewhere more private quick then.”
We get in the car, and he drives to a park. I was a bad girl, didn’t get buckled and was uh, well, um, it’s not important really what I was doing to him while he was driving. But I can say he enjoyed it very quickly.
And fifteen minutes later, when we get to the big park area that surrounds a small lake, he’s ready to roll again. He pulled off in a treed area and there’s no one around. He can’t get out of the car fast enough, runs over and shuts my door the second I get out and full on attacks me. My back’s up against the passenger side of his car. Sometimes it feels like he has four hands. His hands are in my hair, under my dress, across my chest, pulling my straps off my shoulders so he can harshly kiss down my chest. While he’s kissing under my bra, he’s got both hands under my dress, cupping my butt, pulling me toward him, then pushing me away, toward him, then away.
It feels a little like a warm up. Like jogging around the track before you sprint the next lap.
Then he lifts me up. My weight is half against the car, half sitting in his hands. “Wrap your legs around my waist,” he whispers. As soon as I do, he’s inside me, pushing me with reckless abandon against the car. My arms are around his neck, hanging onto him, and I’m kissing him with some reckless abandon of my own. (Also, this is a very hot scene. I like Dawson very much here.)
Back in front of my dorm. Dawson did nothing on the way home but talk about how amazing the sex was. He’s so cute. And it just does something to me, to know that it’s ME that’s making him feel that way, that good. It makes me feel both powerful and helpless at the same time. Powerful that I can make him want me so much, and helpless because I think I need him just as badly.
“I wish you could come sleep with me,” he tells me. “I love how you snuggle up with me.”
“Come sleep with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like sneak out of your room, sneak in my window and sleep, actually sleep,” I grin, “tonight. We can set my alarm for like four or something, and you can sneak back home. Katie sleeps hard. If you’re quiet, I don’t think she’d even know.”
“Sounds like a plan. I love you, Keatie.”
I say, “I love you too.” Because I feel so dreamy and happy.
At 1:30 he crawls through my window. “Okay, so you set the alarm for 4:30, right?”
“What do you have on?” He says, while running his hand down my body in the dark. Then he holds his phone up and shines it at me, so he can see.
What I’m wearing is sleep shorts and a tank top. What I say is, “Armor.” (Omg, best come back ever.)
He laughs. “Don’t worry. You wore me out tonight.” He kisses down the side of my neck, “Well sorta, I mean I could probably do it again if you want. So this weekend, like I know your parents know we have, so does that mean I get to sleep with you all weekend?”
“Uh, I’m sure they’ll give you your own room.”
“Do I have to stay in it?”
“I think you have to pretend to stay in it. Like just sort of out of respect.”
“I can do that. I’m really excited. To go away with you, meet them, snuggle all night with you, okay, so maybe we’ll do more than snuggle.”
“Go to sleep,” I laugh. He pulls his arm around me tight, and I melt into his chest.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so content.